Blood

Haiti has been hit dramatically, and after reading from the Old Testament I was left alone with my thoughts... Deuteronomy 8:19: “But I assure you of this: If you ever forget the Lord your God and follow other gods, worshiping and bowing down to them, you will certainly be destroyed.” Upon reading this bit of scripture I thought something rather audacious in a sense. God is the same yesterday as today and forever, amen! He destroyed a nation (His nation) if they forgot him and lived in disobedience. In this chapter as in many more He is warning His people. “Do not forget that He led you through the great and terrifying wilderness with its poisonous snakes and scorpions, where it was so hot and dry. He gave you water from the rock! He fed you with manna in the wilderness, a food unknown to your ancestors (8:15-16.)” Are these great disasters that many are facing the result of a nation turning their back on God, and serving the god of their worldly stomachs?

Haiti has suffered from a earthquake numerous amounts of people have died. Is that the case for people like the victims of Haiti? Now Jesus promised that He would not come back until everyone had heard the story; the Gospel. So there are people who need to hear this message. “Who will go for us?” The bible reads and asks a question. Those who claim alliance with Jesus Christ are the ones who are called. Missionary Joil Marbut says it like this, “You better know that you were not called (upon standing before the throne of God)” The Haitian people need to hear the gospel; otherwise, they will continue walking in and inevitably die in sin. Furthermore, we look upon their situation and the many dead and we take pity on them. We are entrusted with the most precious words of God, and the message of the Gospel! “Who will go for us?” We are the chosen people! We are to take this message to them, this bloody story of Jesus Christ dying on a tree. He hung with the heaviness of our sin, guilt, and condemnation! Who are you and I in this world? I am a person, doomed to sin; I fall again and again. Yet I have His grace! I have a hope. People who have not heard are without a hope.

The blood is on my hands. The more I wipe I see the tears flowing and the mouths asking, “Why did you keep silent?” But remember my name is in The Lamb’s Book of Life! Eventually I pray that you will watch the news and remember that we are the responsible ones. Once you have been told, then you have become responsible for their hearts. Not everyone can go to the mission field. But are you praying for these people? Just as a paralyzed man cannot walk around, and most likely stays where he is, we are not all able to conquer the mission field. You can touch those around you and be a light to the ones that God has given at arms’ reach. But God has ears! So let Him hear your cry. Jesus said in Matthew 9:38 “Pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that he will send forth labourers into his harvest.” Christians, turn off the television, get on your hands and knees and pray!

He will listen when we cry out to Him. Pray for America, South America, North America, Korea, China, the U.K., etc, etc… Be specific and heartfelt. Where there is no God there is a desperate need for prayer. This world needs a Savior; the world needs The Savior. These are my thought, and I will conclude with a quote that I hope influences a distress to pray. “Our praying, however, needs to be pressed and pursued with energy that never tires, a persistency which will not be denied, and a courage which never fails.”
-E.M. Bounds

Toes

Counterfeit love; the harmony of a bitter orchestra out of tune… What are we to do? There is a line to be drawn somewhere, right? Commit your thought to this analogy. (Please, entertain my thoughts and choice of tapestry for lingo) You and I are standing in line to buy a “Coney Island” at the Pier where Big Bang is swingin’ away. I’m dressed in my attire complete with Red lipstick and wedged heels. You are there with your slacks and a vest that compliments the paten leather kicks you are sportin’. As slick as we look there standing and snappin’ to the tune, you step on your friend’s toes. It’s not a big deal the first time not even the second time. He says “Oh, my apologies! Are you alright?” she retorts “Oh, it was an accident, please. It’s fine.” And he says “It won’t happen again, I’m so sorry.” She smiles and then they turn away from each other. The second time comes around the corner a little harder, and this time she begins to move over a bit. “Ouch!” she exclaims, and he turns red, grabs his hat in a fit of “Oh the stupidity!” and says, “Please, forgive me…I’m a klutz.” She assures him that she is all quite well, but this time she backs away a smidge. He says again, “I will be more careful.”

She nods her head in response. Then she turns, standing in the pain of her tiny toes. She backs away this time quietly but only enough to avoid the encounter again. He is again snappin’ to the music and acting a little more relaxed. When, wouldn’t you know it? He marches right over her toes again. At the pain’s peak she is fed up. His response the same way as the last times, but she has a new response. “Stop stepping on my toes!” she raises her eyebrows. She then relocates herself to the back of the long line to avoid losing her toes. She watches at the back of the line as he carelessly and impetuously discards wisdom in the choice of his actions; once again. She heard his apologies and believed him without second thoughts upon the first time. The second time she questioned his sincerity but forgave the offense. The third time he had proved to be careless and not concerned enough to be sure it did not happen again. So she left him down-hearted to place herself out of harm’s way.
(Apologies…that was not the best analogy, however, “stop stepping on my toes!” is the line I want to expound upon. So keep it in mind whilst I continue.) Most people have many groups of friends. The first group has to be the largest because it is the acquaintances of people that can range from one side of the state to the other (or beyond). You are not very close to them but you know their face and name. The second group is the friend’s that surround you. These guys and gals are the ones you play games with at the arcade and hang out at the movie theater with. The last slot is solely for those or the one that you consider best friends. Your comrade(s), amigo(s), partner(s) in crime and most trusted companion(s). At some point these friends will annoy you, no matter how close you are. The buttons that are not to be pushed and the nerves that are not to be danced upon, they will dance on. It’s inevitable in the truest sense of the word. Because we are all humans and bound to mess up. In a healthy relationship one learns from mistakes and takes actions to make sure that those mistakes do not happen again. It’s simple. When you love someone you will pay attention to them and be careful to know them, so that you may more efficiently assist them as their friend.

When you say you love somebody you must be prepared with louder actions to accompany your declaration of love. Amour, yes, yes. And with perfect reason I say this. Actions illustrate the love that marks your friendship’s closeness or ability to stay united. There is an equal amount of effort that both people have to coherently apply themselves to. In the event that either of the persons take more than they put out the relationship dwindles. The half that is taking more than enough is happy and content. The other half in a perfectly natural reaction suffers. Just like someone standing beside you, stepping on your toes and saying they are remorseful to have treaded upon your precious toes. But they in action turn to their old ways and do nothing to prevent it from happening again. You know the old saying “actions speak louder than words” and it is true.

I am aware that people make mistakes, believe you me. But a point will come when that person stepping on your toes will not be close enough to you to step on them again. Know your true friends; the friends who will watch where they step cautiously in hopes to avoid any pain to you friend. And be a good friend. Know their boundaries as well as your own. As for now I plea “stop stepping on my toes!” Because, my friend, there is only time and time will tell her story. However this story you may not find yourslef in.

Honor

The feminist movement, to the first women’s amendment, and now today women fight for their unprejudiced rights. We have gained quite the collateral in any area men are predisposed, and now we are even able to have intelligent women to become president of the United States of America. It is of good report, that we are not judged and subsequently treated differently. But the question I ask myself, and you today is this, have these activist caused the light of being a wife and the blessing of being a mother fade? I believe it has. The female justice and equal rights movement has ushered in another child-birth pain for women in our past, present and future generation.
The first amendment for women’s equality, and the halt of hopefully gender discrimination was passed on August 18, 1919 and later ratified. Women all over marched with banners held high and celebrated a victory and triumph over the fight of equal rights. The idea that these women had was good, their acts to fight for the rights I have today, are good. But there is an overwhelming sense of duty to utilize this right, with equal paying jobs in the workforce and high position behind a desk as an obligation. One can work and be a mother too, and I am thankful for that. But along with this sense of responsibility the mother and wife role has been dubbed less in value.
Women now more than ever are bringing in more money than their husbands. They are moving from secretary positions to being the “boss ladies” of high paying jobs. I applaud these women who have worked hard like men and with ease in their favorite stilettos. Indeed I am proud. The portion of women I ask you about today are the many that stay at home with their little ones, cook dinner for their working husbands and scrub dirt from their fingernails after working in their own garden. They do not have a college degree in medicine or law. However they work vigorously with their hands and are under great responsible. The woman who is a stay-at-home mother to even one child is responsible for his proper growth and development. That little boy or girl is a hand in the making of the following generation. These women wake to serve their family with love and respect. If you are a mother you know that it is quite the task. If you are a sister with siblings then you have seen the job on their hands. This is an honored role and aloud it should be stated as just that, honored.
Mother’s should be honored because of their servant’s heart, like Ruth in the bible. She gave up what she knew to follow Naomi, her ex-mother-in-law. She took care of there and provided for her. She mothered this woman who was well in her old years. She provided a home and food. She illustrates the role that many women, single and married fill. Seek to honor those you know who are walking this irreplaceable path. Those bringing up children now need to hear that they are honored and appreciated. In word and deed they need to be praised. In the bible in Proverbs 31 it is titles “The Wife of Noble Character”. This is what I desire to see today come from the lips of many, it is the honoring of this “noble wife.” The bible says “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, and not harm, all the days of her life…She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks…She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy…She is clothed with strength and dignity; She can laugh at the days to come…Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Today I challenge you to verbally and in action honor the women in your life for what they have done. Admire your mothers and respect yourself if you are a mother, a wife. You have taken on a most honored position. You are the working hands and hearts that usher in this next generation. You are the glue that holds it all together.

Huddle House! Hoorah!

Abba

Coming to the cross again to run my fingers through your blood,

A fitting picture on the cross would be my heart.

Abba, you do not deserve to feel this pain.



Taking this heart with your love.

I see in a glance my face in the miry sinful lust,

again I glance to see your purity covering me.

This righteousness found upon me.

Father you shelter me.



Joy sustains this cave.

Condemned seems my heart to be hid forever.

Chasing me again I run from your love.

I need you, never let go.

Light creeps through to my eyes,

again I am convinced of your power.



If there is hope then you have made it alive in me.



Break me and free me.

Knees bleed and fold friendships with my floor.

Leaning on what makes me thrive,

joy sustains this cave.



Oh my love, you are my Love.

You take this dying heart and you penetrate it.



I stand in the presence of darkness.

They cower away in fear.

They who strike me cannot stand in your presence.

Dancing over me with grace and mercy.



My heart flutters at the sound of your whispers.

You take my hand and embrace shame in stone.

Growing and reflecting your motion.

Father, I was found in you.



If there is hope then you have made it alive in me.



I take your name.

Honored

Thinking back to when I was a little girl I can remember first wanting to be a mom. My sisters and I played mom and daughter for years. We would play in our playhouses, woods, and rooms. We cooked dinner, fed our baby dolls and occasionally little sister who was our "sweetie." We also were wives to imaginary husbands. We played with our kids and cooked dinner. We made wonderful salads from the luscious green grass and leaves outside. We bought from the grocery store and visited our other neighbors. We were on our way to being the best moms and wives ever and we were only six and seven years old.

When I reached my teens I had moved on to other aspirations. Minding my time with thoughts that flooded my head. I was to have a job that I enjoyed and that made good money. I loved art and thought I'd be an artist and sell my art. Culinary arts maybe. I would cook and bake my heart out clean. And only embrace the feeling of flour on my face with a smile. A teacher would be a good job. Respectable and acceptable. Well also my heart was always with the mission field. It started with a nice walk with the idea for adventure in another "world." Today I still long for that adventure. But it grew from that to a call to the widows, orphans, and forgotten children. I would be a missionary and in a storm of heroism breathe life to them. But I still needed a respectable career. There was no getting around fulfilling my role as a young modern-day woman. I was to choose a job. So I started college because that was the correct and respectable step. Today I plan to get my degree so that I may be a registered dietitian. With this degree I can work in hospitals, health departments, on the field and have a better knowledge of nutrition. All of it sounds fine and accurate. But was it a desire provoked by the weighing expectations of this world?

If you really know me you know that I love to cook and bake. Serving others at mealtime and washing the dishes when everyone is done. In the bible we read about Ruth. Ruth made a home for her mother-in-law and she cared for her. This was after her husband died. She's a prime example of the love I desire to be saturated with. She was a servant. Her time and concerns were not for herself but for others. And so she cared for her mother-in-law and made her a home.

Saying all of the above, I was still not fulfilled. What was missing? I couldn't place it. I questioned myself, asking "Is this what your heart really wants? Is this where you find fulfillment?" I took a burden on my shoulders that doubled as a role. There were a million and two eyes looking at me to make sure I didn't end up in the slums of a career less life. "Get a good education, job, and house..." I've heard everything. And these opinions gave the impression that my heart's desire had no chance of survival.

Now to that desire. When I look back at the innocent heart of my youth I find a surprise. An old loved friend, a kindred spirit who knew me best. Knew me best and never left. Her voice had only become a muffled yell.

She had her sweet children in hand and her husband along her side. With an imaginary kiss to the air, her beloved husband, prince in shining armor and Superman all wrapped in one she sent him off to work. Her heart was at home. She used her gifts and talents there at home. She read to her children the Good Book. She taught them games, and how to run, swim and play. She watched her children play while she and her friend talked over tea. And when her husband arrived home they ate together as a family.

Oh God, I see now. By the pleasures of this world I am told to take a sword and pen to the battlefield. Fighting for equal pay at a job where women wear trousers and men shake their hand firmly. Maybe I find fulfillment in folding laundry, washing dishes, cooking, cleaning, and being a servant. When did this become a step down from the best? A women who chooses this over her own boutique has now taken three steps back. This woman is not living in the norm or mainstream but she is living her heart's desire. She is impacting the lives of those around her and making a home for a new generation.

This is not to say that I cannot go to school and get a degree. By no means am I saying that my only role is to be a mother, wife and helper. However I do want to give a blessing to those who are. God bless you in the name of Jesus Christ, "the wife of noble character." My eyes look up to you who work vigorously with your hands at home. You are blessed.

This world's expectations are not the desire of my heart, nor every woman's. The Lord has shown me that the desire of my heart is to be a mother and a wife. Despite the worlds input and fight He has shown me that it is a role to be honored.

Proverbs 31:10-11, 17, 25-26 & 29

"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many woman do noble things but you surpass them all."

Be encouraged. This is God!

Thyself

I stayed close to my pillow to catch the fall of heavy eyelids. I thought deeply as I rested my bones. Most of my thoughts were of the somber nature. I did in my search of self-feeling find something out about myself. C.S. Lewis in "Mere Christianity" talks about man and his role and his correct disposition. As Christians we are called to be salt to this earth and a light to the world. In fact our lives should reflect and therefore replicate the life of Christ. This is not a happening that comes over night or a special, particular, no corner cutting prayer. It is not something that you purchase with the wealth of tears. It is the deposit of the Savior of souls. And after we have that deposit sin is still so present. Sin is still available and near. Oh the way of the Christian! Then we are tempted even more so and tried. Through this can character and a life be built if we persevere. God being present and alive in our souls will lessen the darkness that is in us. And in the end we will be perfected.

When we accept His call we change in a most God way. God way... What I mean is this, it is unexplainable and profound. It is not a doing of human hands but of the one true God and Father of our lives. So we know there is a change in us. How are we to be a light in the darkness and salt to this tasteless life? We are given a command by Jesus in the New Testament. Jesus said "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength. The second is equally important. Love your neighbor as yourself." Love! Love is this. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7


Jesus said, "Love your neighbor as yourself." This is where my discovery was made. First I will present a question before I go on. How can you love your neighbor with this extravagant love if you do not first love yourself? From "The Life of the Beloved" Henri J.M. Nouwen says this, "When our deepest truth is that we are the Beloved (Chosen, blessed, broken and given) and when our greatest joy and peace comes from fully claiming that truth, it follows that this is to be become visible and tangible in the way we eat, drink, talk and love, play and work" This is knowing we are the Beloved and claiming its power and humbly accepting its gift.


To my Father these words I spoke, "I do not love myself." I am therefore not capable of loving the sheep of His pasture. I should rephrase, I do not love myself as I ought. There are more times I am mad at myself for my behavior or the lack there of a good one. And more times where I am trying to earn peace and love. I walk those sorrowful paths, and more so than those where I am claiming the love my Father freely gives. It is working hard to say that I am of meaning and have a purpose. A purpose that grips the love I so desperately need and desire. In the end I find myself asleep in His light and still searching in dark dreams for His heart (my purpose). My heart desires to be and do anything great that He allows me to. This is true! But I haven't known, truly known His love. I have not been able to truly love Him, who loves me, and gives me the power to love other's.


I am convinced that this is a story many can relate to. My request of the Lord is that I would be picked up by His hands and brought to his heart. In the shadow of His wings am I in my place of purpose. only in the lifetime when I truly know His love can I love myself. And only then will I be able to love other's. Not the love like the world gives and portrays. His extravagant, deep, wide, bountiful, filling and purposeful love.


He freely give to all who ask. "When you seek me you will find me, when you seek me with all your heart." I pray that you will find His love for you. Israel Houghton says this, "I will search for you and I will find you. I will find you with all my heart." Rest in Him. Let His love break you and give you intimate comfort.


Your journey starts there, in the knowledge that you are the beloved. Purpose is yours! This is life! This is God! Grace and peace be yours today and in the days to come.


Sarah Jane